Today has been a weird day. Aside from getting oodles of laundry done, I also got a nice mama break and got to go see a movie. That necessitated I put on normal people clothes, to which the kids all had to ask, “Where are you going?” I think that’s a sign I don’t get out enough, just maybe.
When I got home we had all sorts of cool play happen. I got down and played DC Superhero Girls with Luca and A.J. I have a hard time playing with the kids sometimes because I can’t just get into their world, especially playing like this. Still, we had fun.
But that’s also pointing out one of the things I like about my kids, they don’t see toys as having a gender, and they shouldn’t. Luca likes DC Superhero Girls and that’s okay. Then again, Luca also decided the gender of the day was “girl princess.” I think it’s important for Luca to have both male and female role models and heroes to look up to, no matter what gender Luca chooses to be in the end. And, in truth, Luca is probably exploring options and possibilities right now. I’ve had a lot of people ask if Luca is transgender, but I think at four it’s a little too young to decide once and for all. Luca’s still young and is being creative, which is especially good in a world where things are still so gendered.
Of course, Hulk had to join in. He was fighting the DC Superhero Girls at first, but then he decided to be nice and give Bumblebee a piggyback ride. I think Bumblebee is Luca’s favorite now. It used to be Batgirl, and I think to some degree it is. Batgirl has all the cool toys, but Bumblebee has wings and was Hero of the Year in the made for TV movie. Luca also likes to watch The Flash and Supergirl with me when I watch them. That’s great because I like to watch those shows.
Anyhow, I’m getting sidetracked. I should talk about our tea party. We had berry tea, chocolate tea (with lots of milk and sugar because “those are the ‘gredients!”), and super berry tea with Luca’s pretty butterfly tea set. Luca had been dying all day to play tea party, but Corde didn’t want to have a tea party with us. We decided to have a special tea party, just us, with Bear (a tiger Luca named Bear) and La-La. It was a lot of fun.
Once again, we get back to things that people wouldn’t normally buy for Luca because it’s “girl” stuff. Even Sander likes to join in on the tea parties now and again. I don’t think toys like that should really have a gender. They’re imaginative play. I also don’t see why tea sets can’t be painted up to have frogs and grass or kites or other things that are more inviting to boys in general. After all, who doesn’t like a tea party? Well, boys, but I wonder how much of that is nature and how much is nurture. I know my boys are okay with playing tea party. Well, Beekee is less okay with it, but that’s something that changed when he went to school. He also likes to wear Rainbow Dash shirts, so obviously it’s not all gender oriented. He was Rainbow Dash for Halloween too.
After we had our tea party we played with La-La. La-La is Luca’s baby. Luca got some baby doll stuff for Christmas, so that was a huge hit. The baby stuff rides around in a Frozen purse, so we can take it with us when we go out. I think that was another Christmas hit. It’s brought a new level of play to that old doll. That’s the Luca doll we got for Luca’s first birthday. I can’t believe how well that doll’s held up. I like how well it’s holding up so much that I’m considering getting Luca a second doll for a birthday present.
Speaking of things I’m considering getting Luca for a birthday present, a doll house is definitely on that list. Luca is such a fan of the dollhouse at my doctor’s office that I can’t help but think having a dollhouse at home sounds like a good idea. I’ve already picked out the one I want to get, and while it’s not cheap, you’re only little once, right? And I think all of the kids will like playing with it, especially if I get enough dolls to play with for it. I’ve found one I really like, also made by the same company that made Luca’s baby doll. I think it’s an investment worth making.
So the point here, there’s no such thing as “girl toys” and “boy toys.” Well, there are, and those are toys that look like boys or look like girls, but toys aren’t for certain genders of kids to play with. That doesn’t make sense to me. Maybe if we stop promoting things as having a gender association to play with certain things we might have an increase of girls in STEM programs and in trades. Maybe girls are turned off by those things because they’re taught to be girly. Maybe boys don’t play with dolls and have tea parties because someone told them not to. Who knows what those kids would turn out like if they were allowed to play with what they like without being pushed towards gender associated toys?
Of course, this isn’t necessarily the best way or the “right” way to do it. This is how I’m raising my kids. I know I’ve faced a lot of opposition, but I’ve also gotten a lot of overwhelming support. There are people who are incredibly receptive, people I’d never expected to be on board with this. I think this works for us.