It just dawned on me today. It’s been almost two years since I started this blog. I know, I know, there’s been a lot of slacking. I haven’t always updated like I should. I guess I’ve done better than the average blog. People lose interest and forget. I’ve been around for a while.
Now I think about the kids and I’m amazed at how far we’ve come. It’s been a journey. Dad one was a nightmare. Dad two had his days, but wasn’t much better. Now we’re on our own, scrambling through. My kids sadly know what it means to struggle.
Corde has really grown. She’s decided she wants to live in an RV and travel. It’s either that or raise angora rabbits and sell the wool. She’d be happy with either, but she wants to do the RV first. She’s the reason we’re trying to get the RV funded. If you would like to help us live her dream, check us out at Our Family RV Page and donate to the cause! So far we don’t have much, but it’s always a slow roll to get things going. She is so excited that we already have people helping, but she’s a little depressed that we’re not further along.
Beekee is in heaven out here. He’s starting to get back traces of who he was before his dad got involved and we had the whole school thing. He’s been playing with bugs. He’s interested in traveling too. He wants to go to all the renn faires in the country and go hiking at every place there is to hike. Of course, to do that, we’d have to travel.
Sander wants to raise chickens still. At the same time, Corde has talked him into wanting an adventure. He wants to go camping a lot so he can sleep under the moon. He’s convinced he would sleep on top of the RV every night. He’s taken to putting laundry out to dry and doing chores like the big kids, and is often more reliable. He’s gotten so big! It’s hard to believe when I started this blog he wasn’t talking much or clearly. He needed help to do everything. Now he’s so idependent. He was still in pull ups! He still won’t sleep in his own bed and wants his Blinket and Minket or he has nightmares, but he’s able to sleep without them.
Then there’s Luca, my little Bear. He’s two now. For the past two days he’s been falling asleep without nursing for naps. He doesn’t want to use the potty, but he has learned to tell me he wants to pee on a tree. He sometimes can tell me he wants to pop a squat. We’re getting there. He talks like crazy, and tries to take care of the kittens. I think he could have a lot of fun traveling, but may also like to live on a farm. I think they all would. Maybe that’s what we do when we settle down.
It seems like it wasn’t that long ago that my life was so different. I was still with Oz and we were mostly happy. Now I’m a single mom. I’m struggling to find my feet. I’m not sure how we’re going to make this work, but I have no choice. It needs to happen. I need to march on through. I need to make it, somehow.
We’re slowly getting ourselves back together. I hate to admit it, but stress has made me have a lot of bad parenting moments. I’ve yelled more than I should. I’ve been strict. Stress means I’ve forgotten how to have fun. It’s time I got that back, before I get old before my time, and my kids’ childhoods are gone. It’s time to get things moving the right way again.
I’ve started doing yoga again. It hasn’t been much. It’s been all of eight poses. I run through the cycle all of twice, taking the time to relax into each pose. It takes me maybe fifteen to twenty minutes every morning, but it’s a routine. It’s getting me in good practices. It’s an attempt to force myself to stick with something. Afterwards I feel a little better. I’m really hoping I can see some improvements in the next couple months. I hope a year will show enough improvement that I can recognize it. I took photos of a few poses, well, Corde did. I’m going to do it again in the beginning of October, then again in January, once more in April. If there’s no change by April, I’ll know I’m not getting anywhere and give it up. Somehow I don’t see that being a problem. It will hopefully teach the children that dedication will get you results. I just wish I had a DVD and something to play it on. I’m sure a real routine would do more good.
Things are destined to get better. Stick with us and we’ll find a way through. By the end of our official second year we’ll hopefully know if we’ll have our child support in and will know how much we can help ourselves. Wish us luck…and if you’re feeling inspired, don’t forget to donate to our cause. We can use all the help we can get!