Well, it’s been over a month now. The last updates were scheduled, so some of it went up after our bad news. I wanted to write sooner, but it just hurt too much. Now I think I’m finally ready.
So, it was the day after Valentine’s Day. Oz and I fought that night. It was messy. I was depressed. He wasn’t in the mood to deal with it. Still, he promised he wouldn’t leave for his day out until I was awake. He kept his word, but his bags were packed, and he told me he was leaving.
Thankfully, he did one thing right. He talked to the kids and explained what was going on. He promised to still spend time with them, all of them, even Corde and Beekee, even though they aren’t his. He told them it wasn’t about them, that he and I fought a lot, and it wasn’t fair to them. We were going to take some time apart to figure out how to make things better. No, that didn’t mean he’d live with us again. We just needed to figure out how to make sure he stayed a part of their lives.
At first it was rough. The kids had a hard time with it. Sander didn’t understand. Oz took the car, so getting out every week at least was no longer an option. It was a difficult transition. We had no money either, and really haven’t this whole time. It was hard for a while there. We all hurt over it.
On the good side, the kids are adjusting well, and I’m getting there too. We’re taking it one step at a time. It’s going to be hard getting back on my feet when I’m starting with almost nothing, but we’ll get there. It’s just going to mean making some sacrifices.
Corde has kind of been the leader of the pack with the kids. She’s the one with the most emotional attachment. Beekee is completely fine with it, just like nothing happened straight from the start. He only got difficult when the other kids were acting up. If Corde was okay, Luca and Sander generally followed suit. When she was upset and missed Oz, they were more easily upset. It’s bern rough.
Corde’s a bright kid. She sees what’s going on better than most people give her credit for. She was the first one to notice Oz never spent time with them when he visited. He would talk to his dad, or me. I would try to keep him talking so he would at least pay some attention to the kids, be there to hug and hang on. Then she stayed the night with him and his roommates. She loves his roommates, but said he ignored her almost the whole time for his video games. When Sander stayed overnight he just watched movies. They really didn’t spend any quality time. As much as we all love him and miss him, maybe this really is for the best.
As with all breakups, this one has had it’s rough spots. Oz doesn’t want me to tell people that he left me with no car, no phone, and no money. He’s given me near nothing since. Grumpy was buying the things we needed. Misti has bern getting me to the store. He doesn’t want anyone to know he’s hardly seen his kids. It all makes him look bad. Then there’s the division of friends. Pretty much all of our mutual friends have stayed my friend, even one I didn’t expect. It hasn’t helped his mood. It’s made it hard to keep the peace for the sake of the kids. It hasn’t been the easiest of times.
In the end, I know we’re strong, so even making sacrifices, we’ll get through this. It may mean the kids have to go to school. I need to get a job. We’re a little house bound. Even so, we’re just becoming closer as a family. That’s not a bad thing. So, it’s sad. It’s hard. It’s really trying, but in the end, we’ll get through it.