Well…so much for that idea. I hate to ne bitter, but I’m really not a fan of my ex right now. The kids got to visit for the summer. Not only did he try to convince me to let him keep them because all he cared about was the money. I’m not going to go into all the lies and deception, or how the kids, especially Corde, feel they were stolen from. However, refusing to pay child support is kind of the last straw for me. He won’t give up his rights to his kids. He won’t be a part of their lives. Now he won’t even help with their living expenses because he’s refusing to pay child support.
I’m extra bitter about that one today. All I’ve heard from him about it is how I want that money for me. What he doesn’t see is the way it benefits the kids. Oz shouldn’t have to pay for every single expense for two kids that aren’t his on top of raising them as his own, and if he does, he should be able to adopt them. He’s only been asking for the past four and a half years. However their dad refuses to give them up, so he owes it to them to do his part, financially and in other ways. He should be calling regularly because he wants to be there for his kids. He should also be paying his child support because it goes towards their wellbeing. He should want to know they’re well provided for and are happy.
So, why do I hate all of this? We’ve finally hit the point of needing to give up even more. Between having to drive to Georgia to get the kids, the required costs as a result of CPS interference, and the added cost of co-op this year, we’re really struggling. We moved in with Oz’s dad because our rent was just too much. Now we’re finally losing co-op. It’s gotten to the point where the kids are really going to suffer, no matter how hard we try to make it work. Things may even get more crazy as I have to start looking for a job. That may mean we have to give up homeschooling all together. I really don’t want that, but it all depends on what I can find for work. In the mean time I’m trying to put together a knitting business for some income on the side.
I haven’t talked to the kids about leaving co-op yet. I know Luca will be happy. He hated co-op. Sander is really going to miss all his friends. Beekee’s going to miss it too. Corde might just be relieved. She was put into fourth grade and was dropped even lower in writing and math, not because she couldn’t do the work either. She’d been refusing to do all her homework. She hated the timed math tests and was struggling as a result. On top of it all she was bumped back into the third grade writing class because she writes slowly, not because she couldn’t do the work. She just couldn’t keep up with the speed in class. At home she was fine.
We have the option to try again next year. Early enrollment begins in January. I should know by then if we can afford it. Luca will be two by then and hopefully better able to handle the separation from me. Sander will still be in pre-k, though it may not be the same group of kids. Some of his friends might have gone on to kindergarten. Beekee will move into the second grade class. He’ll hopefully have the writing skills to handle it by then. Most of his class will have moved on to third grade by then, but there’s a huge kindergarten class that will be moving on. Corde can work hard and bring herself up to the sixth grade. If they join fifth and sixth again, she’ll still be with all her friends again.
That is, if the kids even want to go back next year. They may decide it’s too much work and they’d rather stick with unschooling. I’d actually be a bit relieved to move on to something else, somewhere I’d feel more appreciated for being myself and more at home. The decision is still a few months away.
So, that’s why we’ve been absent. I’ve been busy trying to figure out how to work everything out for co-op. I haven’t had time for much else. It’s been a bit crazy.