Trailer Park Unschoolers

Because you don't need to be rich to unschool!

An Evening of Church and Good Influences on the Kids

7 Comments

We decided to go to church again tonight.  Going once when I was incredibly tired really wasn’t a good way to judge what was going on, and even if I decided it wasn’t for me, I’d still get dinner out of it, and I’d know for sure.  I’ve been trying to tell myself that I can’t really give something a chance unless I try it three times.  Why three times?  It’s just always seemed to work out for me in the past.  If I try it three times and don’t like it, no matter how many more times I try it, I never really develop a taste for it.  After three times, even if I don’t like something the first time, that’s enough time for it to grow on me.

Tonight’s dinner was really good, even though Sander really didn’t eat it.  He chose to sit in the exact same chair he did last time, right next to the pastor.  Luca was strapped on my back in a more traditional ring sling.  I’ve found the Baby Hawke is just too much pressure on my back and I end up with an aching back.  I have a feeling that will be better when I can wear him on my back.  For now the sling worked great.  I had him tucked up in front, laying down solidly asleep on the way there.  I tried him on my hip, but couldn’t eat with him there, so I stuck him on my back, which he loved.  Then he rode on my back all the way home.  My back is still aching, but it’s better than it was last time.  I think I might just need to build up some more strength in my back.  I’ve never had that strong of a back.

Shortly after getting there Corde had to point out all the kids she’d met the last time she was there.  None of them were her age, but she still really liked them.  After dinner she went to talk to her friends.  I came over to hear one of them telling her, “Obedience is always better than disobedience.  Obedience is a mark of respect to your parents.  When you listen to them, you show them you think they’re important, which means they want to do more with you and spend more time with you.”  While I don’t want my children to be obedient little automatons, I’d rather them listen to what I have to say, or question it, not just blatantly disregard it.  If they think I’m wrong, they’re free to discuss it with me, but ignoring me only ticks me off.  I have to say, I’m really glad for this girl being a part of Corde’s life. She’s really someone I think is a good influence.

While I’m not all for pushing religion on my kids, this church is turning out to be a great place to meet people, good people, accepting people.  I got compliments on my tattoo.  Oz got comments about how I’ve got to have a back of steel to be carrying around my baby on my back, and good for me for doing it!  The man who speaks every Wednesday is filled with nothing but messages of hope, acceptance, and love.  He talks about walking away from the gossips, the users and abusers, and the thing that bring you down.  You don’t need to drink or do drugs to be happy.  And you certainly don’t need the people who treat you bad and want to bring you down a peg.  I think I’m going to have Corde write a list of questions for him because he’s very unbiased, believes in love, not laws, and is one of the few people I’ve met that’s clearly non-denominational in the truest sense of the word.  He doesn’t believe what you label yourself matters, just that you don’t get tied down by all the things you should and shouldn’t do, because if you approach life with love, acceptance, (and Jesus, of course) then you’ll always know the right thing to do.

I can’t say as I’m turning into a devout Christian or anything, but I think I’ve found a place that I can truly feel like I belong, where I’m accepted for being me.  Maybe I won’t spill on everything.  I think some things are still a little taboo (this is a church and all), but I’m finding that I’m okay with being there, and I find what I need more than anything, hope.  My whole family is already making some wonderful connections and we’re finding the strength to carry on because other people are there to help us believe in ourselves, even Corde who is so easily down on herself.  It feels like we’ve finally started to find a second home.

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Author: Fox

With four kids in the house, who has time for much? Well, we're trying to make it work, trying to get as close to our unschooling roots as we can while state restrictions and family pressures try to stand in our way. Every day is a new adventure.

7 thoughts on “An Evening of Church and Good Influences on the Kids

  1. I’m glad you found a place to feel comfortable. Remember, a church isn’t filled with saints, it’s filled with sinners. We all have skeletons in our closet and secrets we don’t want revealed.

    One thing you need to keep in mind. Pushing religion on your kids is very different than teaching them about God. Religions were created by man. God’s word is never changing. Religions are man’s interpretations of God’s word. You can have God and a relationship with Him without religion. Coming from a strict Catholic background, you’ll find the non-denominational congregation much more relaxed and freeing.

    • Somehow I’m just now getting this comment! You’re right, there is a huge difference. I think that the whole fear of pushing religion on my kids really does come from having gone to Catholic school when I was younger. It was good for me and I got a great educational background, but it certainly wasn’t for me.

      • Hmmm, I can see how my comment is confusing. Sometimes my brain moves a lot faster than my fingers, so I don’t make my posts clear.

        I grew up in a deeply religious area. Between my close friends and myself there were 6 distinct religions, one of which was Catholic. So I have attended various services and been exposed to a lot of different beliefs and why they believe them. When the non-denominational worship experience is compared to the Catholic , you’ll find that it’s relaxed and not formal. There are no Rosaries to memorize, and no confessional to visit.

        As for teaching your children about God without pushing religion, it’s really not as difficult as I made it sound. By letting Corde make a list of question and asking one of the church leaders is teaching her about God without pushing religion. You are simply guiding her to find the answers herself–just the way you teach her now.

      • It is thankfully much more relaxed, and you’re right about that. A part of me misses the little rituals, but I think that’s what’s drawn me to the religions I’ve most closely paid attention to in the past, Catholicism and Paganism. Now I don’t really know if I would consider myself to have a religion. I guess I’m still exploring in a lot of ways.

        You’re also right about letting her guide herself. There was a time where letting her explore the church and Christianity was something I couldn’t do with her. I still had too much baggage from my own past, but I’m really glad I’ve found a place where we’re both comfortable enough to let her seek her own information. Interestingly enough, she’s the one that brought me to exploring the idea of religion and spirituality again. Without her, I think I’d still be kind of lost.

        Then again, I might just be chattering on without making any sense. I’m feeling kind of off today.

  2. I’m so glad you’ve found this church! The people sound like they’re full of love and acceptance, not judgement. It sounds like a wonderful place. I’m also glad that you’re finding hope. Without hope there isn’t much else. I don’t know how I would ever survive without my hope in Jesus!

    • I’m glad I’ve found it too. Amazingly, Oz is really enjoying the experience too. As much as I’m used to the idea of Church after being raised Catholic and having gone to Catholic school, going back to church generally doesn’t make me feel all that out of place, as long as the church is an open and accepting place. For Oz, church has always been something he was uncomfortable with. It really speaks to me that this is a place where he’s so comfortable. He’s even talking about trying to work his schedules so he can go practice with the musicians, see if he can get more involved than just attending. The more we’ve talked about it, the more we realize we need this in our lives right now.

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